Holy Love, Not Hollow Lust: Why All Sexual Relationships Outside Holy Matrimony Are Sinful
By Chorbishop Nectarios
Introduction: The Crisis of Confused Love
In an age obsessed with expressive individualism and personal autonomy, the ancient teachings of the Orthodox Church on sexuality strike the modern ear as not merely antiquated, but offensive. Ours is a generation that exalts desire as identity, lust as liberty, and fornication as freedom. Within this moral fog, even among those who claim the name of Christ, the biblical vision of sexuality as sacred, covenantal, and exclusive to marriage between one man and one woman is increasingly misunderstood, dismissed, or outright rejected.
Nevertheless, the Orthodox Church—faithful to Holy Scripture, the Holy Fathers, and the unbroken witness of the Church—stands resolutely upon the truth: all sexual activity outside the bonds of matrimony between one man and one woman is sinful. This conviction is not an arbitrary restriction nor a relic of social conservatism. It is a life-giving truth grounded in the very order of creation, the mystery of Christ and the Church, and the call to holiness that echoes through every page of Scripture and every chant of the Church’s liturgy.
In this article, we will examine the biblical foundation for this teaching, the theological meaning of marriage, the patristic witness, and the pastoral implications for the life of the Church today.
I. Sexuality as Gift and Vocation
To speak rightly about sin, we must first speak rightly about what is good. Human sexuality is not evil or dirty. It is a gift from God, given to man and woman in the very beginning. "Male and female He created them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful and multiply" (Gen. 1:27–28). The union of male and female in marriage is not the invention of culture but the ordinance of the Creator.
The Church teaches that sexual union, when exercised within the sacred bond of marriage, is good, honorable, and holy. It is an expression of marital love, a means of procreation, and a participation in the self-giving love of God. But just as fire warms the hearth and destroys the house depending on where it is placed, so too sexuality, removed from its proper context, becomes a source of sin, confusion, and destruction.
Orthodoxy affirms that sexuality is not an end in itself. It is ordered toward communion, fidelity, and fruitfulness. It is a vocation—one either expressed within holy matrimony or sublimated through celibacy in chaste devotion to Christ.
II. The Biblical Prohibition of Sexual Immorality
Throughout both the Old and New Testaments, sexual relationships outside of marriage are consistently and unequivocally condemned as sin. The Law of Moses contains numerous prohibitions against fornication, adultery, incest, homosexuality, and bestiality (cf. Leviticus 18). These are not mere ceremonial laws; they are moral commands rooted in God’s design.
Our Lord Jesus Christ reaffirms and intensifies these standards. In the Sermon on the Mount, He teaches: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you, that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt. 5:27–28). He teaches that sexual sin begins in the heart and that true righteousness exceeds external conformity to the law.
St. Paul is equally clear. In 1 Corinthians 6:9–10, he writes, “Do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators… nor adulterers… nor homosexuals… shall inherit the kingdom of God.” In 1 Thessalonians 4:3, he exhorts, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality.” The Greek term porneia encompasses all illicit sexual activity, including sex before marriage, same-sex acts, and adultery.
These apostolic teachings are not ambiguous. They are not subject to the whims of culture. They are the inspired Word of God.
III. Theological Meaning of Marriage
Why is the misuse of sexuality so grave a sin? Because marriage is a divine icon—a living sacrament of the union between Christ and His Bride, the Church (cf. Eph. 5:31–32). Marriage is not merely a social contract or emotional partnership. It is a mystery (mysterion) that reveals divine truth.
In the Orthodox wedding service, the priest does not say, “Do you take this person as your lawfully wedded spouse?” Instead, the Church blesses the union through crowning—signifying that husband and wife are martyrs to one another, called to cruciform love. The crowns symbolize victory through sacrificial love, not romantic sentiment.
Sexual relations outside this covenant profane the mystery. They turn sacred love into self-gratification, communion into consumption. As St. John Chrysostom writes, “The fornicator seeks pleasure without responsibility. He desecrates that which is holy for that which is base.” Sexual immorality mocks the image of divine love and trains the body and soul in habits of selfishness.
Moreover, the exclusivity of marriage—one man and one woman—is itself the reflection of Christ’s exclusive, faithful love for His Church. To introduce other patterns—be it polygamy, homosexuality, or cohabitation—is to distort the icon and thereby distort the truth it represents.
IV. Patristic Witness
The Fathers of the Church speak with one voice on this matter. St. Justin Martyr condemned all sexual relations outside marriage as “defilement.” St. Clement of Alexandria taught that “sexual intercourse is only lawful within the bond of marriage for the purpose of procreation and unity.” St. Basil the Great issued severe canonical penalties for fornication, adultery, and sodomy, considering them sins that corrupt both body and soul.
St. John Chrysostom, in his homily on 1 Corinthians, said:
“Do not say, ‘This is just a bodily sin.’ For not only is the body defiled, but the soul is wounded. Lust enters the heart, dims the intellect, and brings death.”
The patristic consensus is clear: sexual sin is not merely a private matter—it is a rupture in the soul’s relationship with God, a wound in the fabric of the Church, and a denial of the holy calling of the baptized.
V. Pastoral Implications and the Call to Repentance
In upholding the Church’s teaching on sexuality, we must be pastoral without being permissive. The call to chastity is not a burden meant to crush, but a path to freedom. Every Christian, married or single, is called to sexual purity. For the married, this means fidelity and openness to life. For the unmarried, it means abstinence and self-mastery.
We must remember: all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Rom. 3:23). The Church is not a museum of saints, but a hospital for sinners. There is mercy for the repentant. Christ came not to condemn the world but to save it. The woman caught in adultery was not stoned—but neither was she affirmed in her sin. Christ said, “Go, and sin no more” (John 8:11).
Confession is the door to healing. Through the sacrament, the wounds of impurity are cleansed, the soul restored, and grace imparted. But repentance must be genuine, not defiant. To persist in sexual sin—unrepented, defended, or celebrated—is to place oneself outside the life of grace.
Conclusion: Be Holy As He is Holy
Brothers and sisters, the Orthodox Church does not condemn sexual sin because it is obsessed with rules, but because she is zealous for holiness. The body is not meant for fornication, but for the Lord (1 Cor. 6:13). The call to chastity is not repression but resurrection. It is the call to live as icons of Christ, bearing in our bodies the sanctity of divine love.
Let us not be conformed to the spirit of this age, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Let us teach our children the sacredness of marriage, model fidelity in our homes, and offer hope to those who struggle. In the Church, there is healing, there is truth, and there is grace.
For “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Matt. 5:8). May we be found among them.
Amen.
Comments
Post a Comment